Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
