took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
