Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
