Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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