Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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