I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
