Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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