I feel like I'm in dance class right now
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
