Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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