I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
