I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
