is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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