imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
