I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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