I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
