Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
