I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
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