why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
