Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
