dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Randomize
