I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
wow bdsm is so cute
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
