You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
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