First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
