I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
