Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
