Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
