is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
