Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
