I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
