I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
