totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
