Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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