Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
