He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
