I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
