her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
