well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
