Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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