Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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