i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
