Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Randomize
