That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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