I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
