so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
