i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
