So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
