I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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