I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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