That's when you crack a 10am beer
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
