Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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