discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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